Work life balance. I love that idea....love the sound of it. Alas...I have not found it yet.
I see others that seem to have achieved this lofty goal. Friends that have time for work, family and themselves. I even have friends with kids that have found a way to make it all work.
I even have friends that are single mothers and they seem to make it work. Those women surely deserve a medal. Disclaimer: Personally I don't know any single fathers - but they can have a medal too. I'm not discriminating.
The aspect of my work life balance that inevitably gets the short end of the stick is...me. My family obviously comes first - with kids crossing the line slightly ahead of hubby (sorry darling). Then my job - because it doesn't just end at 5pm and it helps pay the bills. Then family and friends. And finally...me.
When my workload piles up it's my time at the gym that gets sacrificed so I can still be home for dinner with the family. Girls night out or date night is scrapped so I can attend a board meeting at the daycare or a strata AGM. And so on.
The most annoying part about all of this is that I am ultimately to blame for it. I am the maker of my misery. Because I think I can do everything. And as such I don't ask for help...just take it all on until it almost kills me.
I think I want to let go of things I really do. But somehow I find myself resisting and for the life of me I don't know why.
Why do I think I can grocery shop better than my husband...that's just silly! It's just buying groceries for crying out loud.
I'm not alone in this...many of my friends are the same way. We often joke about the imbalance of responsibilities at home but we all know we do it to ourselves. Personally I think we are all trying to play 2 different roles at the same time - stay-at-home-mum AND successful career woman. We think we can work 9-5 as well as single-handedly raise our kids and run our home.
It is simply not possible and the more I think (and write) about it the more I realize it's not fair either. Not fair to me or my husband or my kids or my boss or my co-workers and so on and so on.
Delegation may not be my strong suit but it is something I must learn to do. Let go of the little things and trust that others can do things just as well (if not better) than I can. Well...maybe not better than I can. Let's not go crazy...