“I would have given anything to keep her little.
They outgrow us so much faster than we outgrow them."
~ Jodi Picoult (from her book My Sister's Keeper)
The other day the girls were playing on our front deck and I heard Malia tell her sister to get on the back of the tricycle so she could drive her around. Immediately my mind flashed to a picture I had taken last summer of them doing the same thing.
I grabbed my iPhone (god I love that thing) and rushed out in the hopes of capturing the same moment in time...one year later.
Amazingly...I was successful. And when I was able to finally compare the 2 photos side by side later that day I was truly blown away by how much my 'little' girls had grown in just one year.
Where did my babies go? Heck...forget babies...where did my toddlers go?
I am a big fan of the freedom that has come with my kids growing up - no diapers and no naps is a truly beautiful thing - but I don't like the feeling of being helpless in this process.
We can't stop the progression of time. And as much as I joke about putting bricks on my girls heads...this is a part of their lives that I have absolutely no control over. And if you know me - even a little bit - then you know I don't like not having control.
I told Téa the other day that I was not okay with her growing up. She laughed at first but then her little face got so serious as she took my face in her hands. "Don't worry mummy," she said. "I will always be your baby no matter how big I get."
I cried of course. And she laughed at me and ran off having no idea the impact her words had.
I'm not saying I am going to go all "Love you Forever" on my kids and become the creepy mum that brings a ladder to her middle-aged child's house in the middle of the night, crawls through the window, and rocks them while they are sleeping. (Man...that book really does creep me out)
But I know that there will always be times that they will need their mother. Just like there are still times I need mine. And I will always be there for them.
No matter how old they are if they are sick I will offer to bring them ginger ale and popsicles and worry until they are better. I will always offer my shoulder for them to cry on and open my arms to comfort them. And I will probably meddle a little too much and not-so-subtly steer them in the direction that I think is best for them. Because that is what unconditional love is all about.
My girls made me a mother and now define a huge part of who I am. And that scares the living bejesus out of me. It's a huge responsibility and I just hope I am up for the task. Because there is no getting out of this one.