Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Far from Perfect

"I don't have all the answers, but I have good instincts 
and I love my kids something fierce."
~ Kelle Hampton

I am a big fan of Kelle Hampton and her blog "enjoying the small things".  And I often love to steal her little gems of advice because I love how she words things. This quote is no exception. Kelle never claims to be a perfect parent with perfect kids in a perfect house in a perfect life. She has piles of laundry on her couch, kids that act up and moments of frustration. As we all do. But despite all that she knows that in the end what really matters is how much you love your kids...not worrying about being a perfect parent.

Because really...what is perfection? More specifically...what makes someone a perfect parent?

I would argue that the term is actually an oxymoron because there simply is no such thing.  If I ever meet another parent that tells me they never get frustrated with their kids and raise their voice I am certain they are lying.  And I never understand why they do that.

I constantly struggle with parenting and - as a result am also constantly looking for reassurance that I am not alone.  Why hide my parenting struggles when I commiserate with others who feel the same way? 

And I am definitely finding that as my kids get older the harder it gets.

When they were babies my job was to take care of all their physiological needs. Feeding, changing, sleeping, bathing, etc. It was the hardest thing I had ever done - sleep deprived and intellectually under stimulated - I always felt I was barely getting by.

Now - that I'm older and wiser - I can see that the baby phase is actually the easy part.  Because as my kids have gotten older the challenges have become much more psychological and emotional.  And there isn't a clear answer to every problem.

Hungry baby?  Feed her.  Sleepy baby?  Rock her to sleep.  Dirty diaper?  Change it.

"Mummy I cried all day because no one wanted to play with me and one boy said I was a stupid head and now i don't want dinner I just want to cry some more." Ummmm...I have no idea.

The truth is that every parent is going to deal with these new emotional challenges in a different way. And who is to say who is right or wrong?

because in the end its just like Kelle says - its about loving your kids something fierce.  When you do that then all of your words of wisdom and advice and support is bound to come from the right place.  Your heart.

And you know are really freakin' smart. Most of the time they know the right way to deal with a situation...they just need a little reassurance (and sometimes a nudge in the right direction) from us to help them along their way.

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