Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

We are all a bunch of liars. Big stinkin' liars.

And by we...I mean parents. And to a much greater extent (sorry guys) I'm talking about mothers.

I can make this sweeping assessment because I am one of the worst offenders. I think I am superwoman. I think I can do it all. I want the people around me to be happy AND to see me as capable and amazing.

Well if I have learned anything in the past 2 months it is that this is an impossible dream. And that asking for help or admitting you can't do it all is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of sanity.

That said - in keeping with my original statement that we are all a bunch of liars - here is a list of just a few of the lies I tell on a regular basis. How many of these sound familiar?


"I'm okay...just a little tired."  


Translation: "I haven't had more than 4 hours of sleep a night this week and I can't remember what it feels like to be well rested."


"No, no it's fine...I've got it."


Translation: "I would LOVE for you to help me [make lunches, prepare dinner, fold laundry] but for some reason I find it impossible to accept your offer. Probably because you wouldn't do it the right way and I would have to re-do it." Note: usually said to a spouse. And really...we are our own worst enemies on this one.



"I'd love to join the [board, PAC, committee, council]."


Translation: "I would rather stick needles in my eyeballs...but it's for my kids...how can I say no?"



"This is just a phase...it will pass."

Translation: "And then the next phase will start...give me strength."

 

 

"I don't mind going grocery shopping at 10pm...really."


Translation:


"I don't let my kids sit in front of the TV all day."


Translation: "I only let them do it when I want to sleep in."


"I just need to take a quick 10 minute nap."

Translation: "If you wake me up in 30 minutes or less I will kill you." Note: again...usually said to a spouse.


(God bless you Some eCards for having the perfect images to go with each of my lies.)


And that's just the lies we tell to each other.  Don't get me started on the little white lies we tell our kids.

Actually...I smell a follow up post coming...

So tell me...what are the lies that you tell? No judgement here...




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