I started writing this post several months ago and during that time it has undergone several transformations and changes of focus. Which I guess - when you really think about it - isn't that odd considering that is how friendship works as well.
Always changing and evolving. Sometimes dissolving and other times intensifying. Some require hard work and constant nurturing. Others can go months without any attention at all and still bloom at a moments notice.
My friends are incredibly important to me. For love and support and laughs and hugs and reassurance and truthfulness.
And I have to say it's very cool to have friends that represent all the stages of my life: elementary & high school, college & retail careers, first jobs, second jobs, parenting groups & school committees. As well as my friends that also happen to be my family...and well we just go way back.
As half of a couple I must say that one of the most elusive friendships to cultivate is one with another couple. It's nearly freakin' impossible because you have to account for the opinions of four people...two people too many. There is generally one half of the couple that the other one doesn't like. And so after a few half-hearted attempts at double dating the relationship fades out.
But I have broken that trend. Blown it to smithereens in fact. Because we now have not one but TWO other couple friends that we enjoy spending time with. And they like us too (I think).
Our kids get along. The girls get along. The guys all get along. This has got to be some kind of miracle.
It's a pretty special thing to have found friends that are so important to me at this stage in my life. I mean I know I'm not that old but I am pretty set in my ways now (as is hubby) and so I had kind of ruled out the possibility of making new friends that would be in my life forever...I was wrong.
And while I don't want to take anything away from the guys - because they are seriously all kinds of awesome - these two ladies...seriously...there are no words.
Until recently we all lived in the same complex and met - as many women do - at the playground. Our kids are all about the same age and a common bond was formed. Playdates were arranged ostensibly for the kids but also to give us a chance to chat.
Eventually those playdates started taking place after the kids went to bed and sometimes with wine. Always with cookies. And now...I can't imagine my life without them in it.
When I was going through my recent difficult time (god that sounds cliched) I relied on both of them heavily for support and reassurance. They were there for me every step of the way - my biggest champions. I don't think I could have made it through the past two months without them.
This statement...send to me by one of them today...pretty much sums it up:
The six of us took a trip together this past weekend. We left the kids at home, purchased copious amounts of alcohol and laughed until our sides ached.
We sat on the deck of our rented lake house looking out on views like this:
All of us relished the quiet and the fact that we got to sleep in and feed ourselves first. And that no one was asking a stream of random questions or asking for something to eat or calling "I'm done!!!!!" from the bathroom.
It will not be the last time that we do this. And I am already looking forward to the next one.