Monday, November 18, 2013

Character flaws...

I like witty people.  I like to think that I am a witty person.  And in the pursuit of the perfect witty one liner I have been accused of being insensitive and sometimes even downright mean to the people I love.

I zing them. And it hurts.

I know this is true and I am not proud of it. Sometimes I just see the shadow of hurt cross their face and other times people come right out and tell me. In either case I always apologize profusely and say that I never meant to hurt them...I was just trying to be funny. Which is the truth but certainly not an excuse.

For most of my adult life I have been working on this character flaw. Trying to make sure I think before I speak and really consider the consequences of my comments. But sometimes...oh sometimes it is just so hard to not comment when someone has set themselves up perfectly. To not say the words that want to literally leap off my tongue.

I truly understand the meaning of "bite your tongue"...because I have done it on many occasions.

I believe there is an element of truth to everything we say. It may not be the absolute truth but it is the truth according to speaker. And that is a slippery slope.

Over the past few months I have heard many of these "truths" coming from the mouth of someone that was supposed to love me.

They have been the ultimate "zings" - cutting right to my core. Hurtful and cruel comments that made me question myself and my actions...and even my own self-worth.

Words are weapons...and we must be careful how we wield them.  I know that now and I can tell you that I will be much more cautious with mine in the future.

Nobody is perfect. We all have flaws and they are what make us human. Recognizing and accepting the fact you need to work on correcting your flaws are what make you a BETTER person.

Personally I'm learning how silence can be the loudest sound of all.



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