Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Sometimes you just know... (Monday Listicles)

There are times...both good and bad...when you just know something for certain.  Deep in your heart that it is true...  And that is the topic for this week's Listicle.

Here are 10 times when that feeling hit home for me:

When - as a child - I stood at the window for ages waiting for my dad to arrive and pick me up on his night...I KNEW that being late was something I would never be okay with. And that this was a feeling I never wanted my own kids to know.

When I met my (would be) husband for the first time at the young age of 14...I didn't know that I would marry him but I KNEW he was going to be an important part of my life.

When I found out I was pregnant for the first time....I KNEW I wanted to have a girl. (No offense to all you mamas to boys...they are awesome...but I wanted a girl so much it hurt.)

When I saw my baby girl for the first time - so tiny and fragile having arrived 7 weeks early...I KNEW she was a fighter and was going to be just fine. And that my life was never going to be the same.

When I saw my second baby girl for the first time...I KNEW that there was actually enough room in my heart to love her just as much as my first.


When I spend time with my friends...I KNOW how lucky I am to have so many amazingly wonderful women in my life. You know who you are.

When I started running...I KNEW that it wouldn't be easy but that I was going to make it a part of my life.

When my life fell apart last year and I experienced depression for the first time...I KNEW that I had to pull myself out of it for the sake of my kids. And I that not letting it kill me would actually make me stronger. And it did.

When I think about 2014...I KNOW that it will be a year of change and evolution. But that it will also be my best year yet.

2014 started with this accomplishment...

...and that was only the beginning.

Saturday, March 22, 2014


I have been thinking about a blog overhaul for a while.  When I first started blogging I didn't give much thought to a personal brand so chose a name that had some personal meaning and didn't worry about matching up social media accounts.

Now that I've been doing this for a year and a half now (wow!) and have had some opportunities to see how much more I can do with my blog I knew it was time to make some changes.

I was also acutely aware that I had named my blog after a popular book and that would definitely become a copyright issue at some point. 

The problem was finding a name that worked and was also available across all networks.  That was not easy...let me tell you.

I came up with - and discarded - hundreds of names. Some of them were hard to let go of.  In the end I have decided to go with something simple, focused and reflective of my life.

The blog formerly known as Writing Down the Bones and the twitter, pinterest and instagram accounts formerly known as kelsey_bar will now be united under one brand:

The new name represents three of the most important things in my life right now.

Writing (to keep my sanity), Running (to improve my health) and being a Mum (my everything).

A full blog redesign will follow soon.  As soon as I can find the time to figure out Blogger vs. Wordpress and finish my wireframe.

For now...I am looking forward to this fresh start...follow along won't you?

Twitter - @writerunmum

Facebook - Write Run Mum

Instagram - writerunmum

Pinterest - writerunmum

Thursday, March 20, 2014

How to fit fitness back into your life (Modern Mama post)

The weather is getting warmer and we can start to head back outside for some exercise.  It was around this time last year that I committed to making some changes and focusing more on me and my health.

And despite a few setbacks of the minor and completely HUGELY MAJOR variety...I managed to achieve a few of them.

I'm sharing some of my pointers on how I managed to fit fitness into my life over on Modern Mama.

Check it out here: Fitness for Moms: 5 Tips to Fit In Fitness

Monday, March 17, 2014

The day I lost my child...and my Target a crowded Target store on a Sunday afternoon...I lost my 4 year old for 2 minutes...and I lost my mind in the process.

It was a truly terrifying experience. There is no other way to put it. One second she was behind me and the next she was gone. Like gone. No sign of her. No reply from my repeated shouts of her name.

My heart had never beat so fast.  My voice had never sounded so strained.  I was trying to keep my calm for the sake of my oldest daughter...but she was panicked right along side me.

I ran up and down the aisles shouting her name praying for a response.  Other shoppers - all parents - asked me to describe what she was wearing and helped in my search.

I felt dizzy and scared and angry and heartbroken all at the same time.  Until finally...I heard her tiny little voice say "Mama?" and my world came into focus again.

I followed the voice and the sobs that came after and found my little lost girl crying in - of all the odd places - the men's sock department.

I have never held my child that tight before in my life. Relief flooded through me. My oldest daughter joined us in a group hug and we all cried together.

The other parents that had helped to search for her watched our reunion with relief before heading back to their shopping. And still we hugged.

My heart broke when my oldest said to her "I thought I wouldn't have a sister anymore."

This was the first time I had experienced losing my child in a crowded place and I am dead set on it being the last. It really was the worst moment of my life.  And in my frightened state I forgot all reason.

I didn't think to tell a staff member that my girl was missing so they could make sure nobody was running away with her.  There were no logical thoughts in my head.  Only the overwhelming fear I might never see her again.

And she too forgot all the things we had taught her about what to do if she ever got separated from us. We had just gone through all of these steps in preparation for our recent trip to Disneyland. We told her to stay where she was, to call out for us, to look for a staff member (with a name tag) or another mother that had little kids with her.

She listened to these steps, repeated them back with confidence and made me feel secure that she knew what to do. Now we know what happens in the real situation.

Instead of staying put she told me she almost went downstairs to look for us. Instead of calling out to me she said she was embarrassed to yell loudly (which is truly a first for her). And despite the large number of stroller pushing mothers in the store she never thought to talk to one.

Lesson learned - more teaching is required. Refreshers on the steps all of us need to take.  Because after this experience none of us want to go through that again.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

10 Things I Would Tell My Teenage Self (Monday Listicles)

There is a reason that the saying "if I only knew then what I know now..." is a saying. 

There is a reason that people say it with a wistful tone and far away look. Because when we were teenagers we really had no freakin' clue about anything.

I mean really...if you could talk to your teenage self for just 5 minutes...think of the wisdom you could impart.  The attitude you could just smack right out of them. Oh it would be a beautiful thing...

So let's make a list shall we?  A list of "what I know now" and what I would share with who I was "back then".

1. You are beautiful. Take the compliment, say "thank you" and believe it.

2.  But don't ever perm your hair again...or I will have to take back what I said in #1.

3. He is not the only man in the world. And he is not the lost love of your life. Move on.

4. Laugh hard. Laugh a lot. Laugh at yourself.

5. Listen to your elders - they actually know a lot more than you give them credit for.

6. Listen to your gut. You can trust it more than you think you can...or currently do.

7. This too shall pass (bad grades, broken heart, fight with your bestie...) and you will be a better person for having gone through it.

8. Challenge yourself everyday.

9. Be grateful for what you have.

10. Life doesn't get easier so enjoy each moment before it too is gone.

Ah to be young and naive again. To let my heart rule my head. To dance awkwardly to Stairway to Heaven.

And now...back to reality...