Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Reflecting...

When I look back on 2014 it is with greatly mixed emotions. On paper this year was - very clearly - one of the worst of my life.

I nearly lost my marriage. I did lose my job. I spent 7 very long months as a part-time parent. And as a single woman for the first time since I was a teenager.

There were very dark times indeed. And yet...despite all that...I find myself looking back on this year with immense gratitude. Because it was through those darkest moments that I finally figured out who I want to be. Not only that - but I can see clearly now the things that I have been doing that have kept me from being that person.

There are so many cliches that fit my last year:

"It's always darkest before the dawn."

"Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

"What defines us is how well we rise after falling."

"This too shall pass..."

I've said them  all and repeated some as a type of meditative mantra to get me through the roughest times. And now I put them aside for a new saying...call it my tagline for 2015.


     I will run my first 10k race.

     I will write more often and complete my first novel by the end of the year.

     I will be more present for my girls and be the role model they need me to be.

     I will be a better friend to those that have stood by me through everything.

     I will work at my marriage and not let this second chance pass me by.


Okay 2015...let's do this.


Monday, December 29, 2014

Christmas 2014

Oh it was a great Christmas this year...one of the best ever I would say.

Full of family and friends and childish excitement. Full of turkey and presents and love and affection.

It was the most relaxed and most enjoyable Christmases I can ever remember..especially since having kids...


New jammies on Christmas Eve...

Milk & cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeer.


Stockings...my favourite part of Christmas.
 


"WAKE UP DADDY!!!! IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!"






I was so touched by this gift from my husband. He framed my two running medals and bought me a third frame for my next one. So sweet and thoughtful.

Mid-morning my mum, aunt and Nana arrived at our house and it was a lovely afternoon of examining gifts, making trifle and eating the best turkey ever!


Little T helping Nana with trifle...

Hubby and my aunt with their amazing turkey...so good!


As our family has grown so big over the years it's impossible for us to see everyone on Christmas Day. So this year we did a Brunch a few days later...and basically had Christmas all over again!


Brunch for 20 is served...


And we finished it all off with the 1st Annual Lip Sync Battle...thanks for the inspiration Jimmy Fallon!

Nanny with a little "Unchained Melody"

Oldest busted out the entire "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" theme song. I was so proud...
My mum channeling Etta James...

Shaneyney was Making Love out of Nothing at all...

Is that Paul Rudd in my living room?

Elvis had not left this building...
I busted out my high school self with a little Wilson Phillips...and my sis in law did an amazing job with her song "Zedd". For some reason I don't have any photos of either of them. :(

It was a very Merry Christmas indeed...


Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Grateful

Last Christmas Eve I found myself standing in the kitchen of my husband's aunts house, surrounded by all of my in-laws wondering if my 19th Christmas with them would be the last. I was almost certain it would be. My marriage was in a downward spiral that I couldn't seem to stop and the end of the story...it seemed...was already sadly written.

Shows how much I know...

Because tonight I was back in that same house, hugging those same aunts and uncles and being hugged back tightly. And I was grateful. So grateful that these people were still my family. 

So grateful that I was not spending the holidays apart from my children and the man with whom I had spent the last 20 Christmases with.

It has taken hard work to get us here. And more work is needed to keep us here and moving forward together. But we are committed to the process. 

Someone recently asked me to sum up 2014 in just 5 words. With the year it has been I thought it would be hard to do...but it wasn't. 

"Stress. Change. Adjustment. I'm happier."

All things considered that's not too shabby. I'll take it.

And now...sitting here on Christmas Eve surrounded by my kids, my husband and  my in-laws...in front of my Christmas tree...watching Christmas movies...I need to add one more word.

Grateful. 

Merry Christmas everyone...





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