When I look back on 2014 it is with greatly mixed emotions. On paper this year was - very clearly - one of the worst of my life.
I nearly lost my marriage. I did lose my job. I spent 7 very long months as a part-time parent. And as a single woman for the first time since I was a teenager.
There were very dark times indeed. And yet...despite all that...I find myself looking back on this year with immense gratitude. Because it was through those darkest moments that I finally figured out who I want to be. Not only that - but I can see clearly now the things that I have been doing that have kept me from being that person.
There are so many cliches that fit my last year:
"It's always darkest before the dawn."
"Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
"What defines us is how well we rise after falling."
"This too shall pass..."
I've said them all and repeated some as a type of meditative mantra to get me through the roughest times. And now I put them aside for a new saying...call it my tagline for 2015.
I will run my first 10k race.
I will write more often and complete my first novel by the end of the year.
I will be more present for my girls and be the role model they need me to be.
I will be a better friend to those that have stood by me through everything.
I will work at my marriage and not let this second chance pass me by.
Okay 2015...let's do this.