Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Balance - A follow up post...

Back in May of 2012 I wrote about Work Life Balance.

It was one of my first posts and I have been reading through my old stuff lately in search of some perspective. Maybe even some reassurance - when my days feel dark - that some of the changes I have made in my life have actually been for the better.

And this post gave me that reassurance. Not because I have actually found that elusive perfect balance...but because I am much closer now than I was 3 years ago.

I am also a completely different person than I was 3 years ago. Through all my recent struggles I have gained a much stronger sense of self. I feel like I know myself better know than I ever have.

And reading this post reminded me that I was truly lost before. I was still trying to be all things to all people and in all of that I was continually putting myself last. And while I may have recognized that I was doing that...I wasn't fully aware of the damage it was doing to not just me...but everyone around me.

Back then I wrote this:

The aspect of my work life balance that inevitably gets the short end of the stick is...me.  My family obviously comes first - with kids crossing the line slightly ahead of hubby (sorry darling).  Then my job - because it doesn't just end at 5pm and it helps pay the bills. Then family and friends. And finally...me. 

When my workload piles up it's my time at the gym that gets sacrificed so I can still be home for dinner with the family.  Girls night out or date night is scrapped so I can attend a board meeting at the daycare or a strata AGM. And so on. 

The most annoying part about all of this is that I am ultimately to blame for it.  I am the maker of my misery. Because I think I can do everything.  And as such I don't ask for help...just take it all on until it almost kills me.

That is the biggest lesson I have learned. I cannot do everything. No one can. And so I do ask for help.

Also - I've learned to say no rather than sacrificing time that I have set aside for me. And I've figured out that saying no is okay. It's more than okay...it's the smart thing to do.

I said no to joining the PAC at the elementary school. After 7 years on the daycare board I think I earned the right to a few years of committee-free life.

And by being brave enough to start my own company I now have a flexible work schedule that has allowed me to spend more quality time with my girls and still fulfill my need to be productive and creative. 

I have a lot of a work to do on myself still {don't we all} but I know from reading my past posts that I have come a long way from where I was back in 2012.

My kids will never be this age again. I will never be this young again. And each of those facts are reasons to enjoy every day to it's fullest.

And doing that...I have come to believe...is the first step in finding true balance.

I wonder what I will think of this post a few years from now...



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