Changing Scenery

Hello all...thanks for visiting!

I have moved my blog over to a new Wordpress platform - you can now find Writing Down the Bones here:

https://kelseybarblog.wordpress.com/

Hope you come and give the new site a visit...

Reflecting on Valentine's Day

Last night - lying in bed, about to turn out the light - I asked my husband "Do you remember where we were 20 years ago tonight?" 

I didn't see the look of panic on his face but I'm sure it was there. As it is for any man when his wife starts a sentence with "Do you remember when..."

We had spent most of this Valentine's Day apart - him working on a construction project and me handling kid duties - we had dinner as a family and got the kids into bed and then settled down to watch The Walking Dead.

So...not really a romantic evening. I wasn't disappointed but it got me thinking about the past and what Valentine's Day used to mean.

Because 20 years ago - on our first Valentine's Day together - it was all about romance. We were 18 years old - oh my god! - and I was so excited that he was taking me out for a fancy dinner at the Sutton Place Hotel. (Hubby remembered by the way...phew.)

I got all dressed up, he got all dressed up, he brought me roses, he opened my car door, he held my hand as we walked into the fancy restaurant and were seated at our little corner table. It was so god damned high brow that I couldn't quite believe we were even allowed to be there.

It was a great night. I loved every minute of it. I felt loved and happy and spoiled.

We celebrated in similar style - dinners out, roses, occasionally booking a night a swanky hotel - for many more years. And then - as they tend to do - our Valentine's Day plans changed with the arrival of kids.

And when that happened I remember thinking that our love as a couple - and an "us" - didn't need to be celebrated anymore. We were beyond that. Above it actually...as though with the arrival of our first born our love status was now elevated above those that were just "couples".

I even wrote this post about the evolution of Valentine's Day in 2013 that included this line: "Now before you feel sad for me and think the spark has gone out of my marriage...don't worry it hasn't. We just don't need a specific day to say I Love You."

Oh how wrong I was. Just a few months later I would be faced with that exact reality. That the love had gone out of my marriage and in actual fact we needed more than one specific day to say I Love You. We needed to say it just once and really mean it. Really feel it.

Luckily we made it through that dark time and are working our way back to love. And that experience has given me a new outlook on Valentine's Day. While I still think there is a commercial aspect of the holiday that warrants disdain...the basic premise behind the day is an important one.

It is essentially all about celebrating love. And I know now that love not only should be celebrated but it should also never be taken for granted. Love should never be assumed in any relationship no matter how long you have been together.

Love might not take work but it takes nurturing and attention. And days like this provide a perfect opportunity for that to happen.

So next Valentine's Day I think I just might be dropping some not so subtle hints that I like roses and getting dressed up. Sacrifices must be made...

I know It's annoying but I'm not gonna stop...

I've turned into one of those people. The ones that post on social media all the time about their workouts and their runs and their physical accomplishments. 

Ones that perhaps make you think this...

When I share the view from my run...

And a photo of sweaty post workout face...

and sometimes even pictures of my running shoes for heavens sake...

I know my oversharing in this area is probably annoying to some people. They may think I'm fishing for compliments or searching for validation. I've got news for them...they are totally f'ing right.

Damn straight I'm looking for likes.

Hells ya I want you to comment and cheer me on.

Because I worked hard on that run and it hurt and now I'm sore and I could've been sitting on my couch watching Downton Abbey with a cup of tea in my hand but I didn't. I ran.

And to be honest - sharing every post about every run and getting the love and support from friends and family - is huge motivation for me to pick my running shoes over my couch.

I'd like to say that I'm doing it all for me...because I love the feeling of running...and I know it's good for me...yada yada yada...but I'm still working on becoming the me that always chooses the healthier way. That will come...I know...but for now I use social media as my motivation to keep it up.

The way I see it is that I'm more accountable to my exercise regime if I share it with everyone. If I post about my great runs for a few weeks and then do nothing...I think it might get noticed. And people would say..."well...looks like Kelly is back on her couch. Figured that would happen."

And the thought of that doesn't feel good. The drive to make sure that doesn't happen is what keeps me going.

So please excuse me while I blatantly use you all for my own needs and self indulgence. Because - fingers crossed - you all are going to have to get used to seeing my pretty views, dirty shoes and sweaty face in your timeline a lot...

I'm only kinda sorry...

Throwback Thursday: Ballerina in the Hall

Facebook Memories make me happy. Every day I look forward to getting that reminder of a moment from the past that may have forgotten. 

Sometimes they are big moments - like anniversaries or holidays or milestones - but it's the little moments that pop up that make me the happiest. Moments like this day from 2010.

I had just gotten a new SLR camera and wanted to try it out. 

My oldest had just gotten a brand new ballet outfit and wanted to dance for us.

And littlest...well...she just wanted to be there. 

I'm so grateful to have been reminded of this moment in time. That they didn't just become photos lost in the memory storage on my computer. 

Way to go Facebook...

Wordless Wednesday: New Art

We have a new piece of artwork hanging in our kitchen and I am totally in love with it.

It's a one of a kind mixed media piece called "Monster Truck" and it's by a new and relatively unknown 6 - almost 7 - year old artist. I see big things for this girl.

And lots of new art for my walls...

Happy hump day!

Adios January!

When the sun comes out in the winter it's like a bit of happiness breaking through the gray gloom of the Pacific Northwest Winter.

That's exactly what happened this weekend - the sun came out after raining all day and the girls and I decided a walk on the dyke was just what the doctor ordered...

 

saying hello to our friend the crane...

Anytime we make it to the "stage" on our walk...a little dancing must be done.

obligatory mummy & girls selfie...

Adios January blues...we are one month closer to spring!

Oh so true...

This quote came up in my Facebook feed a little while ago and when I read it I literally felt like I'd been punched in the chest. It hit home so hard.

At the time, I saved the link rather than hitting 'like' because I wasn't quite ready to admit this was how I felt when my husband and I separated.

But it is how I felt...how I still feel actually as we continue to repair the damage and see if we can fall in love with each other again.

Nothing in certain in life and I do choose to remain hopeful...but my god...this feeling. Well that will be the hardest thing to forget.